I wake up feeling like I’d rolled through a bush backwards. A cotton bush, clearly. Some of it was lodged in my brain and obviously in my mouth. I blamed it on last night’s vodka – clearly my body couldn’t handle it at such a stressful time. Any change (especially quite a drastic one like this) is stressful and I’d been cruel I guess. Then I blamed it on my very very late night.. I’d stayed awake till about 4:30am, feeling way too energetic to sleep. I’d even read two sunday papers and all their magazines, mea culpa, I thought.

It didn’t occur to me until much later to look up symptoms of ‘carb crash’. I’m not surprised really, the brain fog was clearly present and as I waded through it and made coffee I declared that I didn’t feel that great. CN (carb nazi) looked fine. I felt slightly more human after my coffee with cream but still not ‘right’. I attempted to plan my day out, but I felt nauseous too at this point and somewhat shaky.

Breakfast. Yes, that’s it, let’s see if breakfast cures this. Two delicious soft-boiled eggs leave me feeling satisfied and temporarily better but the symptoms reappear soon after. In the mean time I start planning lunch. Thankfully it’s a public holiday and I don’t need to be useful to anyone. I’m worried about concentrating on work the next day though.

I’ve defrosted some meat sauce (again, planning is crucial if one is to stick to the rules) and prepared an aubergine in an attempt to make up some sort of lasagna without using pasta. Check this procedure if you’re not already very familiar with cooking aubergines. It will make all the difference. What happened is that I had nowhere near enough meat sauce to make this dish so I needed to improvise. I ended up with a concoction of aubergine, cheddar, meat sauce, cream, tomatoes and rucola. Chucked the whole thing in the oven and waited about 40 minutes until it was ready. The result was delicious and I didn’t miss the pasta sheets – recipe will follow. We rounded the meal up with some sugar-free jellies.

At this point it occurred to me that maybe the slump was due to my changes and I did some research. I felt a bit better knowing that this stage of fogginess was expected. I had another sugar-free jelly with cream to reward myself for sticking it out.

It was still too hot to venture out so we watched a movie. I couldn’t concentrate and drifted in and out of sleep a couple of times. Later we roasted some pumpkin seeds and chestnuts and snacked on those. I found myself dreaming about a thick slice of Maltese bread with tomato, olive oil, salt and pepper. I drool a little as I write this.

Later we go out for a swim, the energy levels are somewhat improved, very very slightly. My friends are drinking cocktails and beers and eating chips and cake. They’re placed in front of me and I barely blink. I’m quite proud of myself and somewhat bewildered too. I order a chicken caeser salad without croutons and to my surprise it actually arrives without croutons. It didn’t occur to me to ask about the dressing and there’s some balsamic glaze decorating the top. It’s not allowed but I don’t really avoid it all. CN orders a shrimp and salmon salad. I don’t notice the carrots in there until a piece of it flies at my foot. Ahem.

Later I open a packet of almonds and roast them in a dry pan. We decide to throw some in some chili powder to make it interesting. We have survived another day!

During days 2 and 3 we both noticed a frequency in urination, which we found out is also considered normal at this stage. There is no weight loss yet. My body feels somewhat different though, as if it’s tingling slightly and exfoliating itself from the inside. I also feel a little bit dizzy in the evening and we resolve to have a serving of low-carb fruit if the dizziness doesn’t subside. We’ll see what happens tomorrow.


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